I also drown puppies.

I would just like to point out that tomorrow is September 1st. I have the sudden and intense urge to go buy pencils and paper. And perhaps a calculator, with lots of space on the screen, so that I can find out exactly how many zeroes are in a trillion (with a 't').

It should also be time, in my head, for me to buy books. Lots and lots of books. And then go to class and discuss them. Those discussions should naturally progress into lofty dialogues and passionate debates about the nature of humanity and the course of human events. It is a time for us to write dissertations on the greatest efforts of our race, to discuss them intelligently, sensitively, and honestly. And then, after all that is done, someone will say the 'B' word.

'Bush.'


...And then (there are now exactly fourteen minutes remaining of the first day of the second week of class)... the conversation promptly digress and degenerates into a useless sniping bitch-fest-o-rama of politically entrenched college students.

Oh how I miss it.

I liked to sit back and listen (I have since lost this ability), not having made up my mind quite yet. I'd get incensed and enraged, but oh so quietly.

...Okay, I sometimes make faces.

But then, when I couldn't stand it anymore, I would mutter something about having a background of conservative leanings, and maybe they should all shut up and get back to Marlowe.

And all Hell broke loose.

"What?!? Why the fuck would you vote for those slimy bastards? How can you stand to see all those innocent young men go to war? Don't you want the homeless to have homes? Don't you think everyone deserves health care? Don't you want everyone to eat? Don't you want to save the planet? FOR GOD'S SAKE, DON'T YOU LOVE BABIES?!"

...um.

This continues with the health care debate. It happens less to me now, possibly because I'm slightly more prepared for those kinds of outbursts, and I quickly use my phaser of logic (on stun). But I see it happen to other people all the time. People who like their health care, people who own guns, people who don't want to answer all the census questions because WHY THE HELL DOES THE GOVERNMENT WANT TO KNOW HOW MUCH I DRINK. (uh... more on that later.)

Conservatives are attacked with a particular brand of vitriol because they don't like welfare programs, they don't want the government to GIVE anyone anything. (Well, most conservatives. There are a few groups who don't match this card. I do.)

And this means, apparently, that we want your children to STARVE, to live OUTSIDE, we want union workers to be FIRED, and the Earth to EXPLODE already so that we can get on with our plans for the Death Star.


It's a ludicrous tactic. No, I'm not holding an anti-war sign. I must be pro-war. I don't support the health care bill. Clearly, were I a doctor, I would treat only millionaires and very pretty people. I don't think we should have bailed out the banks. I MUST think that all those workers deserved to lose their jobs. I've voted Republican, so I must agree with everything George Bush did OMG EVAR. I'm not completely opposed to sending troops overseas, I MUST want them all to die so I can keep driving my truck.

There is no other explanation. I couldn't possibly have an alternate plan involving world peace and prosperity, because I'm too busy building the Death Star in order to rule the galaxy.

I also drown puppies.

ghastly greetings

Halloween may be a couple months off, but my monstrous enthusiasm for the holiday has crept eerily over the pages of my weekly planner and is now lurking quietly in the middle of August like some sort of weird, quivering ooze in the binding. This isn't as crazy as it sounds, since the craft market is in full Halloween swing and I'm hoping to get some projects done and on the internet for potential buyers.

But this post is not about crafting. It's about postcards. Halloween postcards.

Vintage postcards are fantastic, but the designers and artists really outdid themselves 'round All Hallows Eve. Cute little rhymes, neat little sparkly bits, and completely inappropriate and horrifying art. Not to mention the ridiculous.

For example:Nothing says friendly greetings like happy children about to be kidnapped and eaten. And then there's this one:


Um... no? What the hell? Some creep with a pumpkin on his head is stealing cats? And where's the question mark? And... why?

Ah yes, the classic Acorn of Despair. Not to be confused with the Acorns of Uncertainly, Hope, and Happy ever after (not Happily Ever After), the Acorn of Despair has long been associated with traditional Halloween greetings, as has the Lettuce Head of Unrequited Love:

And then of course there's the blatantly racist but much beloved Jolly [blanketyblank] series. This little guy pops up in a variety of mediums (I'm distinctly remembering a certain cookie jar) from the mid-1800's through the 1950's, depicted at various ages:

Oh man. Nothing says class like a black joke. A couple other creepers...

This might have to be part one of a long series of ridiculous Halloween paraphernalia. There are few holidays that allow such... er... creativity.

a note about knitting

About two years ago, a friend of mine talked me into learning to knit. (Hi Cheryl!) Given my post-punk attitude toward most things crafty, I took to it like a goth teen to nail polish. I've made lots of things, mostly for other people, in an effort to prove that conservatives have hearts, too. (But maybe that you need a scarf and mittens to stand next to this one.)

My most recent project is... well, huge. My little bro (who is actually only 2 years younger and about a foot taller than me, so 'little' is hardly warranted) is going to be a senior in college this year, and HE'S GETTING MARRIED. And so I'm making a blanket for his future household. But not just any blanket, oh no...

It's a double-knit monster of a blanket.


Yes, that's my copy of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets and yes, it is double-sided. The pattern is the opposite on the other side. For colors, Don requested something bright and happy, like orange, and my migraine-prone brain requested a neutral.


The pattern itself is something that I created to mimic the Nazca lines in Peru, which we hope to visit sometime. (They're interesting to read about, Google them if you've never heard of them.) The one I chose is a pattern they believe to be a Condor, and looks like this from the air:


The blanket itself is huge. Its width stretches from my feet to my shoulders comfortably and with room to spare, and it will be significantly taller than it is wide. Since it's double-knitted, it's unbelievably warm, and sometimes I wonder why on earth I'm knitting this in August. It's so big I've taken to carrying it around in a tub thing, so that it looks like some sort of creepy sea monster with poisonous (knitting) needles sticking out. Nevermind that the tub is a reassuring pink. This blanket will eat you alive, man.

Nom.

recurring problems

For a bit of perspective, how about a cartoon from 1934?

Yoinked from a fellow blogger. I love old cartoons. I find it comforting that we've been having the same sorts of arguments throughout our history. (Though this cartoon is about Roosevelt's cronies and the New Deal, which has proven to be a nightmare to anyone with a sense of history or fiscal responsibility. Not so reassuring.)

come on, timmy.

Geithner Asks Congress for Higher U.S. Debt Limit

Some highlights: "Congress has never failed to raise the debt limit when necessary. Because members of both parties have long recognized the need to keep politics away from this issue, these actions have traditionally received bipartisan support." -Tim Geithner. "It is critically important that Congress act before the limit is reached so that citizens and investors here and around the world can remain confident that the United States will always meet its obligations," Geithner said in a letter to Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid that was obtained by Reuters.

...Except that you don't need bipartisan support to pass a resolution. And what Democrat Congressperson has turned down the opportunity to spend money?

And... how does raising our national debt ensure that we can meet our financial obligations? Surely the higher our debt, the more difficult it is to honor our financial obligations.

I do not understand this thought process. How on earth is our extreme debt going to help our economy? How is a household deep in debt going to become fiscally healthy by adding more debt? And... AND... Why was Tim Geithner the ONLY person who could save our economy?

the future: now 40% prettier!

So Topher sent me a redesigned version of the Healthcare Bill chart that I posted earlier. I think it only fair to post, and to quote a few of the designer's words. Robert Palmer writes:

"By releasing your chart, instead of meaningfully educating the public, you [the GOP] willfully obfuscated an already complicated proposal. There is no simple proposal to solve this problem. You instead chose to shout "12! 16! 37! 9! 24!" while we were trying to count something.

So, to try and do my duty both to the country and to information design (a profession and skill you have loudly shat upon), I have taken it upon myself to untangle your delightful chart."

His version: (click photo to view his original posting. pdf of just the chart is here.)


OOOOHHH. It makes so much more sense now. I'm glad we got that cleared up.

What the hell? What, because they're circles instead of rectangles, and the lines aren't all pixellated, that's supposed to make this bill easier to understand? The bill is still CRAP. This chart might be pretty, but look how many freaking bubbles there are! There are too many freaking bubbles! Look at how many people have a hand in our health care system under this proposal. Count. Tell me how many bureaucrats, lobbyists, committees, officiaries, advisory panels, and analysts are involved in this. What is the percentage of actual medical personnel? Where do voters come in?

The bill is badly designed. No graphic artist is going to fancy it up and make it pretty, it's UGLY. It's a final paper written the night before it's due, and Obama is the bad friend saying, "hurry up and finish, we've got drin- ...er... spending to do!"

p.s. I love you, Topher, and thank you for sharing that. I really am interested in seeing different takes on this.

the future!

I can't wait until our health care is more like this. I'm so glad Europe and Canada are models for our future health care system, guys. This is going to be GREAT.

Still working my way through the healthcare bill. I expect to be working my way through it for the next several years. It's crap. More to come. Unless I'm too mad.

Here's a good illustration of the bill. Actually, from my reading, apart from a few minor amendments I think it's a pretty good model, but it was put together by the GOP. (And the Dems hate it. I like it.) Pop quiz: Where's your doctor? (Click for larger version.)

*flails arms*

Because I just couldn't help it, and because after all this time it STILL brings tears to my eyes.

Relay For Life is in 6 days.

As many of you know, my internship in Community Relations for the American Cancer Society is almost up. While ACS is decidedly not my ideal employer (for reasons which do not belong in this post), there are certain areas of my involvement that I really enjoy.

For example, the Luminaria Ceremony is really beautiful, and I am delighted to be any small part of it this year. At sunset at every Relay For Life, candles are lit inside decorated paper bags to remember lost loved ones and celebrate those who have survived cancer. The ceremony itself is a beautiful thing, as hundreds, sometimes thousands of candles are lit and provide a soft glow of hope to everyone attending. The Luminaria themselves are wondrous to see. Many people put hours of work into theirs, wanting to create something wonderful to bear the name of their loved one. Others simply write a name, but each name is significant. Each candle is a memory or a life. We use them to light the track, to show us the way as we walk through the night.

My kid brother made one for our mom, a survivor of thyroid cancer. It may not look like much, but it's pretty impressive for a 14-year-old gamer kid:


I made a simple but fun one for a fellow committee member, Becky. (Fraught with subtext. And yes, it's pink. La vie en rose, mes amis.)


But the one I'm really excited to see lit up is the one I made for my mom. It's got a moon and everything! This is shameless show and tell, perhaps, but lookit!


If anyone who reads this would like to make a Luminaria for someone to be lit at the Relay For Life of Burnsville on August 7th, please let me know. The suggested donation is $10 and benefits such ACS programs as the Hope Lodge, a free place for cancer patients to stay during treatment, and HopeLine, a free phone service to answer any and all cancer treatment and insurance questions.

i'm sure it's not important.

I've recently (and repeatedly) heard the argument there's nothing in the Constitution that says legislators must read bills and amendments before voting on them.

Of course there isn't. The Framers assumed that Congress would read them. How can you vote on a bill if you don't know what's in it?

Apparently, reading is not a priority for most Senators.



I'm... gonna let Senator Conyers speak for himself here. And... isn't he a lawyer?