But then, one day, she found something called a Remote Control. Lost for centuries, somewhere within the Sea of Crumbs and Change that rests deep beneath the Couch Cushions, the Remote Control was said of old to be a powerful device that could cause lethargy, loss of willpower, and end meaningful relationships. It was said to be able to show its Master nearly anything through the use of its evil puppet, the Television. But this particular Remote Control was especially adept at showing the viewer the doings of other Peoples. Specifically, the People of a land called Washington D. C.
When the girl found the Remote Control, and saw what the People did in the place called Washington, the girl began to change. She became restless, frustrated, angry. Her friends did not understand what she saw, and became alarmed, and warned her not to view what the Remote Control showed her. She tried to resist its power, and spent hours screaming her head off at the dreaded Television, but it was all for naught. The Remote Control had her in its evil clutches.
In an effort to help the girl, an ancient Healer told her about a purging technique that used something called a Blog. The girl began to Blog, and it seemed to help. But soon, even the Blog lost its power, and the Remote Control beckoned again. She was trapped, sucked into the world of the People of Washington, forever to lament and bemoan the doings of its inhabitants. Their pull was too strong, and her friends fear she may never escape.
And so, children, when you next find yourself floating on the Cushions above the Seas of Crumbs and Change, resist the temptation to seek the power of the Remote Control, lest you find yourself trapped in vistas of a land even more hideous than Washington D. C. You could end up trapped forever in a story like.... Twilight.
(EEEEEEEK!)
