I have written a short play. I call it: That Time Cat Ate My Sandwich.
CAT: *peeks over couch cushion*
CHICKEN SALAD SANDWICH: *waits patiently for human to return*
CAT: *smells chicken and mayonnaise*
CHICKEN SALAD SANDWICH: *waits patiently for human to return*
CAT: Well hello, chicken salad sandwich. You contain many of my favorite protein- and milk-based ingredients. I have not eaten for several minutes. PREPARE TO MEET YOUR DOOM! *leaps onto couch*
CHICKEN SALAD SANDWICH: *sways gently with the couch cushion*
CAT: ZOMG! It smells even better up here! I shall bat at it! *bats*
CHICKEN SALAD SANDWICH: *falls apart all over couch*
CAT: Aha! Victory! Who's laughing now, chicken salad sandwich! Now I shall carefully pick away at your contents before inevitably deciding you aren't worth eating after all! *NOMS*
CHICKEN SALAD SANDWICH: *is missing a teensy piece of chicken*
ME: *returns* WTF??? CAT! GET AWAY FROM MY CHICKEN SALAD SANDWICH!
CAT: *looks up* Was this yours?
ME: *is bigger than Cat*
CAT: *notes size difference*
CHICKEN SALAD SANDWICH: *is pathetic*
ME: *throws cat*
CAT: *is nonchalant*
ME: Poor sandwich, I shall reassemble and eat you, even though you are now tainted with kitty germs.
CHICKEN SALAD SANDWICH: *gets eaten*
CAT: *waits patiently*
ME: *takes plate to kitchen*
CAT: The tyrant has left! I shall claim my rightful domain at last! *leaps into favorite spot*
ME: *returns* Cat, you're in my spot.
CAT: You are mistaken. This spot is clearly mine. *sheds*
